An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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