the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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