Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
