you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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