She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
