We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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