remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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