I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize