so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
there is glitter all over my balls
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