you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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