I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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