So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize