If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
