is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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