Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
