I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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