its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize