its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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