Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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