she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
