So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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