This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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