my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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