I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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