Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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