He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
