dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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