do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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