Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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