How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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