I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
