Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
