I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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