my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
