those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize