I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
