Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
