Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
