8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
