And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
