I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
