From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
