EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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