hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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