Apparently you make a good broom.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
