Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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