I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
