Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the condom got lost in my hair
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
