Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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