well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
