I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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