He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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