Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
