I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
