i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
