he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
