I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
