so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize