Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
