just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
