Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
